This story was originally published by The Imprint, a national nonprofit news outlet covering child welfare and youth justice. Sign up for The Imprint’s free newsletters here.
Handwritten notes from foster youth cover the white tablecloths that adorn the Sabathani Community Center in South Minneapolis before Thanksgiving each year — time capsules dating back a dozen years in some cases. Beneath plates of roast turkey, fried chicken, herb-speckled mac and cheese, and candied yams, one note reads: “Semaj was here!!! 11-21-19.”
Kids and adults with backgrounds in foster care have been coming to the center for more than a decade to meet with old friends, fill up on a hearty meal and play Uno or Connect 4. They gathered yet again Thursday, at an annual event organized by Connections to Independence, a local nonprofit that helps foster youth between 14 and 24 transition into adulthood.
The menu at this yearly Friendsgiving is always inspired by attendees. This year, for the 13th dinner the group known as C2i has held, they requested soul food as usual. Around 100 people turned out — including some who joined the organization as teenagers and now bring their own kids to the event.
“Everyone knows the Thursday before Thanksgiving, we’ll be here. They can come hang out and get some good food,” said Karina Hunt, the group’s operations and strategic growth coordinator. “We might need a bigger space next year.”
Organizers say the dinner is popular in part because it offers the consistency that foster youth typically lack as they move away from their biological families and from one foster or group home to another.
Shae Carter, 32, who is on staff at C2i and spent eight years in foster care before she aged out, said some of the youth who attend might not have anywhere else to be for Thanksgiving next week, but they know they’re welcome at the turkey dinner her group offers. Many are still building their own communities of people who accept them after being removed from home.
“There’s always a place at C2i if someone feels like they have nowhere to go,” she said. “C2i has always been my family.”
By 5 p.m. on Thursday, songs from musicians like Kali Uchis, SZA and Anderson .Paak burst from two speakers, toddlers babbled and attendees conversed, the sound bouncing off the hardwood floors and towering walls of the second-floor community center banquet hall — once Bryant Junior High, which Prince attended. The dinner had all the energy of a family reunion, as kids sped around the hall, too excited to remove hats and coats, weaving between adults catching up with old friends. One boy rolled around on the floor wrapped up in yellow streamers torn from a wall decoration.
Longtime attendee Keegan Herbek, 26, said that the food was “pretty good” this year. Just like any family dinner, there’s no guarantee the meal will be perfect — once, years ago, he found the chicken a bit on the under-done side. But coming to the event is an annual habit at this point, he added, and a place to get a warm meal, which has not always been easy to find.
Herbek, who entered foster care in Minnesota at age 8 and eventually aged out, said the nonprofit was the sole reason he wasn’t homeless during the pandemic, though he’s been homeless before.
“While it is about connection, it is also about a full stomach, and it’s a place to be,” Herbek said of the dinner.
Those in need of more material support did not leave with empty hands. They picked out sweatshirts, jackets, scarves and warm socks for winter wear, as well as household supplies like bath products and diapers.
It was, like much of C2i’s work, a blend of fun and function. Throughout the year, C2i participants attend regular, weekly programs to help with a range of life skills, from financial literacy to personal wellness. Other days, they join group outings to rock climb or ice skate.
Alexandra Pope, 26, who was taken into foster care at age 6, spent some time at this week’s annual dinner thanking C2i staff and members for their presence in her life.
“Every year I go, I try to let them know how grateful I am for them because I genuinely don’t know where I would be without them,” said Pope, who has been coming to the yearly dinner for more than a decade.
Pope described having a hard time adjusting when she first joined the organization at age 14. Within weeks of starting, she said she had to take a break from the programs after she got into some trouble. But a C2i counselor didn’t give up on her, she said. Eventually, she was able to “find my people,” and she still keeps in touch with some of them today.
Pope said she used to come to the dinner because she felt like she had to. But over the years, she learned that she actually wants to join the gathering with people she now considers family. Though she does not celebrate Thanksgiving because of the association with its violent history, her favorite food was the cornbread and mac and cheese, which had a sweet tang. Unless she has an extenuating circumstance — like health concerns to deal with — she typically goes.
“C2i has gotten me through a lot,” Pope said. “The turkey dinner is just a place for me to be able to give thanks and be able to show gratitude and just give back, if I can, a little bit of what they’ve given me.”
